Finding my True Singing Voice with Sabda

Ever since I was seven years old, I’ve been terrified of singing solo. Yet, before that, I loved singing into the curtain pull cord weights at my family’s and maternal grandparents’ homes. To me, the weight and cord resembled a microphone and cable used on stage.

My performances were made even livelier when my poppa played his piano or electric organ.

By the time I was seven, my natural, carefree confidence took a nosedive. Ongoing verbal abuse from another grandparent, and sexual abuse by a group of pre-teen boys, telling me to be quiet while gripping my throat and covering my mouth, saw me shut down.

I stopped singing.

I stopped being my true self.

I started to believe I wasn’t allowed to be seen or heard.

Instead, I found nurturing, expression and connection through writing and horses.

I would still quietly hum to myself on occasion. It was more like a faint whisper.

Then, in secondary school, I enjoyed singing in the mass choir for special events, where I was surrounded by fellow students and friends. I was safe.

But there was no way I was going to sing solo in front of people. Ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vocal Toning

As I embraced a more holistic way of being in adulthood, and expressed my voice through written words, I started to use my vocals a little more. Whether it was through yoga, breath or energy work, or pure sound meditation sessions, I started to tune in to myself through vibrant chanting and humming (sometimes known as chakra vocal toning).

It felt natural — healing, in fact — to harmonise and express in this way, even if it was just with a few people. My breathing was longer and deeper. I was more connected and confident.

But that little voice inside — the young, spirited me — kept encouraging me to sing, and sing louder.

I thought about joining a community choir. I also considered singing lessons, yet still baulked at the idea of singing aloud to anyone.

I did a few vocal toning workshops, which were enjoyable and uplifting, but still felt like I needed to take it up a notch, literally.

I needed to use my voice in a way that was profoundly healing.

The Sabda Experience

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sound healer Tikal Sermet with multi-instrumentalist Travis Jekks Taylor.

Recently, I came across a newly created vocalisation event in the Dandenong Ranges. Curated by Javanese-born bodyworker and sound healer Tikal Sermet, it’s called a Sabda Experience (Sabda being the Sanskrit word for speech sound).

In essence, it’s a “sonic temple”, comprising an intuitive singing circle and sound meditation.

Based on the event information, I figured this gathering would consist of humming, chanting and harmonising at a deeper level than I was accustomed to. Basically, experimenting with different sounds.

As the group discovered, it was facing, acknowledging and accepting any trepidation or whatever emotions arose without judgement, purely through the raw sound of our voices.

With her divine “ancestral or temple voice”, Tikal guided us in the candlelit studio, taking us through a range of vocal sounds. This included various elongated vowels, while she rhythmically played her medicine drum, as if in unison with our heartbeats.

As our voices warmed up, and with our eyes closed, she remained the lead artist of what she describes as organic, collaborative artwork; painting a scene with our distinctive soundwaves. She encouraged the addition of different consonants to the vowels, as well as playing with various sounds and pitches; some almost primal.

It wasn’t long before these sequences became a vibrant, interwoven layering of our voices.

Our sonic artistry quickly became soft and nourishing, with an effortless balance of giving and receiving. It was powerfully hypnotic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuning in

With a guitar added to the mix, the second-half of the Sabda Experience also saw the introduction of a Tibetan singing bowl, which was to be passed around. Although the group was singing together as an underlying baseline, the idea was for each one of us to take a turn at raising our voice above the others, letting it take us to where it intuitively wanted to go.

If you didn’t feel like raising your vocals, you could pass the bowl on and continue with the flow of the group.

At the beginning, I was a little WTF!? But when it was my turn, incredibly my heart didn’t skip a beat. With my eyes gently closed, and taking, long deep breaths, I simply surrendered.

My authentic voice rose with ease, eventually leaping from my heart; the seat of my soul.

One minute, I returned to the four-year-old me, the next I was a full-blown goddess, celebrating being seen and being heard. It was liberating and empowering.

Sometimes I experienced musical frissons (tingles); other times my Kundalini energy (also known as chi, prana or life force energy) rose up my spine.

This Sabda Experience was like floating on pure air and pure love. It was if we were suspended in time, somewhere between the Earth and the cosmos, in a new dimension.

I’ve been aware of the remarkable healing aspect of pure sounds, and can appreciate why Tikal, who embraces this ancient technique from various cultures (including India, the Middle East and South East Asia), loves exploring and experimenting with sound to tune in to the mind, body and soul. To her, it’s the ultimate way to cultivate presence, reminding us that we “are pure energy”.

Sabda has immense, raw beauty. You can be deep and melodic; light and playful. Most of all, you can simply be in the moment.

It’s about giving permission to express yourself; to be yourself.

So much so, I’ve been singing freely almost every day.

My true voice is starting to soar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

More information:

In addition to the Sabda Experience, smaller group and private sound journeys are available.

Visit https://www.anantaboga.com/soundwork

 

How have you overcome a fear of singing?

By Kristin Lee. Feature image from Pixabay.

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